Two places, or a million, at the same time

I have been feeling a little sad about not living closer to my family recently. I really love it here in Asheville, I just wish that it was closer to my parents, and my sisters, and my nieces and nephews who are growing up so so so fast.

I feel so jealous of my sis Moriah who gets to go home all the time. Here are a few pictures that she took of the farm when she was home last weekend.

you can view these pictures and more at her blog: http://moriahsmidwestinphotos.blogspot.com/

Lucah Samuel Spicer

I am a strong believer that posting pictures of children on your blog is like cheating. I mean everyone loves kids. But this little one is so beautiful that I just cannot resist:

Handmade Memory

While I was home for the holidays, I was struck with the crafting fever. I couldn't stop making stuff. One project that I was particularly fond of was a handmade memory set. The photos show the interim stages of the project. The name of this blog post sounds funny to me. How can one make a memory by hand? Once you stick a, set, on to the end of the sentence it sounds fine. But with out the set it sounds like I''m trying to recreate the world.

The Snow

Yesterday it snowed a little, today it snowed a lot. And there is more on the way, or so they say. The snow makes me think about home, and growing up. When I was little I was filled with the most intense joy as the first flakes fell. And then six months later the same joy returned when the snow began to melt. Now I find that the joy only comes once a year, and it's not when the snow falls. I remember being eight years old and jumping into the snow banks, void of inhibitions. I was free. I used to imagine that I was a snow flake. Light and fluffy, and very fragile. diving head first into the snow bank. Suddenly I am filled with a desire to embody my eight year old self and dive into the snow bank, but my inhibitions stop me. There are things that are appropriate for small children to do and there are things that appropriate for young ladies to do. Diving into a snow bank out of joy is not one of them. I need to think of a good reason. Maybe I will drop something into the snow, and then go in after it. Ah, maybe I will walk too close to someone and then pretend, when I fall into the snow bank, that they pushed me... I could always take a leaf out of my eight year old book and free myself from my inhibitions and jump in. Without a reason. Without a reason other then pure joy.

Sisters

I was always the little sister asking why you won't play.

Just for today I get to be you:

Is this what you were thinking?

Dirty clothes

from playing in the dirt

marker smudged face

make believe is still your favorite game

I can no longer stand the sound of "lets pretend..."

you've asked me thousand times can we play make believe

Lets pretend that we're on the moon

no lets not

how about... "we're at the fair. ".... no.

Okay what do you think about cow boys.

I don't want to play make believe. I don't want to pretend anything.

Please. No. I'm to old to pretend things.

Spiderman?

no

Covered wagon?

no

we used to play that all the time.

So?

why don't you play anymore?

Stop talking, i'm trying to concentrate

please

nope

pretty please with butter and cheese

Please stop

Why did you have to grow up?

(No response)

Hey, I've got an idea, lets pretend that you are my age.

I don't want to. I've got home work to do, and I'm too old for this.

I'm busy and I do grown up things, like go shopping and go to parties with my friends.

This is what you said

and this is what I think.

you were imagining being somewhere else.

Somewhere without me, with your "friends"

well,

Imagining...

Pretending...

they are the same thing

You were pretending the whole time,

why didn't you let me play your game?

All I wanted to do was play make believe...

How It Used to Happen

Three rings and it's my dad's voice

Sounds confused

Wisconsin childhood

Still getting used to technology

I called to see how you guys were

Ended up telling you how I am

When I was little and we'd go sledding

You'd get so cold

You'd never feel warm

I really meant to call and see how you guys are doing

The garden

What about the cows

and the stray dog

are we keeping her around

Do you want to talk to your mother?

Want, need, either way

it's a yes

I remember my scabbed up knees

mom would ask me what happened

I don't know

I don't know whats wrong mom

I've been upset lately

Is everything okay?

Yeah I probably just scraped it on the fence

when I was helping dad with the cows

Are you okay

I don't know

yes

I just can't get warm

like how it used to happen

remember?

I don't know how I got to feel this way

I love you

I know

I love you too

I've got to go

Three rings and it's dad

Thirty minutes, dripping nose and puffy eyes: Bye mom